I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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