my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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