very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
