He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
