what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
