It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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