11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
