Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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