The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
