Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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