I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
