I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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