I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You are the jesus of drinking
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
