Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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