Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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