Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
