I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
