he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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