So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
