So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
