Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
