How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
