I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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