i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize