Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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