I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
