he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
