i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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