she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
dude. I can hear the air.
Pooping to opera.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize