You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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