you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
