you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
MIDGETS
????
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
