You made me cry and you don't even care
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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