I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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