I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize