Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
