apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
