Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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