You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
