Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sorry about my life...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
