I want to walk on stilts...naked
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize