My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
