This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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