Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
