Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize