My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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