i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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