I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
