No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
