did you get engaged???
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
