11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
