yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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