i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
