The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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