I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
