There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
