Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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