How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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