What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
